The Review

By now, the whole world knows the story of Air Bud (Golden Receiver), and how his stardom made him a stud with the Lassies, one of whom eventually gave him the five little Buddies. Well, the Buddies are back in yet another inevitable scenario: puppies in the snow! What could be cuter?

With Plot Magic, the Buddies wind up in frozen Alaska (Yellow snow joke in 3….. 2…..), where they find a boy who has just prayed for a dog sled team. His dad had raced dogs until tragedy struck a long time ago, in a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie. When the boy wakes up to see a miniature dog sled team led by 5 tiny retrievers, preciousness abounds.

At this point, I should have been more on my toes. I should have made my six year-old finish the script. “Tell me how the rest of the movie will go,” I would have demanded, slamming the table. And she would turn to me, unflinching, and yell “The Buddies take the boy on the race against the father’s will, and a blizzard hits but they are saved by a steriotyped Eskimo in a too-perfect igloo, and they will beat the cartoonish bad guy, and the dad will be so proud he’ll want to cry.” Which would be more or less exactly how the movie actually unfolded.

Your kids could perform just as well. If they’ve already seen the movie, try having them guess the next Buddy Movie scenario, title included. If they answer “Puppy astranauts. Title: Space Buddies,” put them in time out for cheating. It’s already out. But if they suggest puppy vampires or soldires with titles like “Jennifer’s Buddy,” or “Band of Buddies,” don’t laugh. They might just be prophetic. (UPDATE: Disney has recently announced the name of the next sequel: “SANTA BUDDIES,” available late November 2009. A Review will be forthcoming.)

THE KIDS

After seeing the previews, my kids eagerly watited months for this movie to hit Netflix, and when it did, i surprised them with the magic red envelope. They didn’t make a peep for the whole 80 minutes, after which they howled and barked for another 90. Kids like dogs. But if you rent it for them, be prepared with at least 15 semi-valid excuses for why your family CANNOT get a puppy right now. You’ve been warned.

THE VERDICT: Mostly Harmless

How Annoying is It? I didn’t scratch my scalp to bleeding or anything, but it was pretty irritating by virtue of the perfect package formula. The 2D puppy personalities are as tightly scripted as your average boy band (you got your cute one, your athletic one, your bad dog… “Boy Buddies,” anyone???), and that makes for cringe-worthy, groan-inducing dialogue from start to finish. Much like that last parenthetical. Snow Buddies won’t drive you into an asylum upon the first viewing, but I would be cautious about a 2nd or 3rd.