The Review

Full disclosure: I added Space Chimps to my NetFlix Queue for me, not my kids. Because monkeys are hilarious. I can say that because I’ve never lived near them. My international friends tell me monkeys are aggressive, stinky and naughty as can be. Exactly.

Space Chimps should have been a slam dunk of primate fun. Instead, it left me me scouring the internet for streaming versions of Planet of the Apes, trying to find some unknown key ingredient–some primal entertainment enzyme–that should have been included in this film. I was the anecdotal toddler with a mouth full of potted soil, unable to understand my subconscious need for more nitrogen in my diet.

What was missing in Space Chimps? Real monkey business. The star characters, led by SNL’s Andy Samburg and Seinfeld’s Patrick Wharburton, were far too human. There was no picking nits off eachother, no poop throwing, no roller skates, even. If you take out the one scene of vine-swinging, there was nothing monkey-ish about these guys. Incredibly disappointing.

If you want a quick rundown of the plot, it’s your typical “Space probe lost… Monkeys drafted to find space probe…Monkeys free oppressed alien race from Jeff Daniels while retrieving space probe” formula. But these aliens are bad. Jar-Jar Binx bad, I mean. They are poorly drawn, and pitifully conceived. Particularly infuriating is the Hallmarkish “Kilowatt,” a heroic, giant-headed girl (?) who literally lights up when she (?) is scared. When Kilowatt makes her (?) first adorable appearance in the film, you can almost feel the target audience re-calibration machine in motion.

The poor alien showing overshadowed the few legitimately funny moments in a film that really needed those moments. It shouldn’t have needed them, because monkey movies ought to be as fun as a barrel full of… um… laughs. But if you want to know the ugly truth, this movie didn’t need monkeys. The leads could have been regular ol’ human people without missing a beat. They only used monkeys to get more viewers. Did you hear that? They USED the monkeys. Not cool. And not funny.

The KidsKillowatt

7-12 Year old boys will love Andy Samburg and the jet packs, 4-6 year old girls will love the colorful world of Kilowatt, 10-14 year old girls will dig the chimp romance, and 30-45 year old Dumb & Dumber fans (unemployed uncles, maybe?) will love Jeff Daniels. But when you try to please that many people, you usually please none of them.

The Verdict: Mostly Harmless

How Annoying Is It? It varies by scene. When it’s just the chimps, it’s fun at least. Not as funny as it should be, but not really annoying. But as soon as the aliens come in, the exasperation meter spikes. This is another one you can easily survive in the first viewing, but Kilowatt, once swallowed several times, will kill you from the inside.