The “Mission Control” crew included a shockingly irritating assistant who happened to be of Asian decent. I can only assume the film director wanted to buck all racial stereotypes by turning this character into an idiot. If I was of Asian decent, however, I would much prefer the stereotype to this creation.

[quote]The Russian Cosmonauts–human and K9–in this film are of particular concern. Real Russians will probably not recognize the orange jumpsuited actor, but Americans, who remember him as the red-neck apartment neighbor in Office Space, will not be surprised to see him obviously inebriated during the entire movie. If he had been sober, he would have ceased and desisted from his endless “Russian Dance” routine. Regular Americans understand instinctively that you cannot simply fold your arms in front of your chest and alternate leg kicks to become Russian.

The Russian dog is no more flattering. “Spudnik” is voiced effortlessly by one Jason Earls of Hannah Montana, and by effortlessly I mean, of course, that the actor put no actual effort into his Russian Accent. I must reiterate to our Russian readers: Regular Americans understand instinctively that one must do more than roll his R’s into D’s (i.e. “Ddeams do come tdue”) to wear a convincing Russian accent.

Those Regular Americans, too, deserve an apology. By spending 80 minutes in front of this film, they will have lost, on average, 8 IQ points from the dialogue alone. There is simply no excuse for repeating tired lines like “don’t pull his paw.” I am truly sorry.

The film’s stars, however, are the real victims. Walt Disney has dragged these puppies all around Hollywood, dressing them up in embarrassing costumes and animating their mouths for dialogue in order to squeeze as much cash out of them as possible while they are still young. Space Buddies marks their 3rd feature film in as many weeks, with Santa Buddies set to be released in late November. This is the most extreme instance of “Rexploitation” I have seen since 101 Dalmations, where the same 28 puppies were repeatedly photoshopped to give the illusion of numbers.

Where will of this end? In court, I presume. And although I am advocating forgiveness today, I will join any cause to bring retribution on Mr. Eisner and his minions if Santa Buddies is half as damaging as this film.

Sincerely,
The Staff at HowAnnoyingIsIt.com

The Kids

My kids were glued to the cute dogs in space. It would be so much easier to turn this franchise down if they realized how bad it is. But when the Spacecraft landed on the moon and the door opened, my 7 year old giddily proclaimed “They’re about to go on the walk of their lives!” I wanted a beer just then.

The Verdict: Headachy

Yes, I fully understand that this movie was made for my children and not for me. I understand that the actors put themselves out there in such embarrassing ways because they get a handsome check for it, and I fully respect that, in a fashion. But we have to live with these shows too, gentle reader, and in this instance, it was a bad thing. A very bad thing. I rated Snow Buddies as mostly harmless. They went for sappy and they got sappy. Space Buddies took the formula to new lows. They went for cool, but got painful instead. Be careful! These dogs are cute, but they bite like the dickens.