The Review


Every city in America boasts that they have the worst local advertisement in the country, but only Tyler, TX is correct. Fifteen years ago, one restaurant single handedly held East Texas hostage with nausea. As if the name “Fat Boys All You Can Eat Buffet” was not clear enough in its promotion of unbridled gluttony, the ads would suffice.

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Bear with me a moment while I describe one for the record:

A cheap, full size VHS camera begins rolling, and we see a ghastly overweight woman pretending to cry loudly in an empty, yellowish restaurant. Ghastly overweight manager enters screen to receive her grievance.

“Didn’t you like the chicken?” he demands.

“Of course I deeeeid,” she sobs, trying not to look at the camera.

“Well,” the manager retorts, “Wut about the shrimp?”

“Ohhhh,” she moans. “It was won-durrr-fulll…”

The manager suppresses a smile. “So, whut’s the prawblem?”

She wails hysterically, building to her crescendo: “I only wish I could eat some more!”

And of course, it’s a buffet, so she can. The classy restauranteur begins to call for “More food! More shrimp! More rolls! More shrimp,” and his snickering, overweight nephews obey, bringing a flood of fresh offerings to the gluttoness, who dives in joyfully with all her might.

Just when the viewer is certain he’s never been so disgusted, just when he is begging the Almighty, “take me home!” he is treated to a close up of a dozen pudgy hands slapping and dragging their hunks of grease-laden pork to their already full plates.

The defense rests, your honor.

Forgive me for that, but the ad came roaring back to me after watching Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, a film infinitely more charming but just as disgusting. “Cloudy” is a well-known children’s book that is NOT about a determined inventor who accidentally creates a self-aware evil food storm in an attempt to win his father’s approval. No, it is about a grandfather who is making pancakes. Poetic license now serves 6. Billion.

Flint & His Perky Gal Pal

The inventor, Flint Lockwood (Bill Hader) was encouraged too much as a child. Flint is the science equivalent of a talentless American Idol Tryout who refuses to face the truth because his mom told him he was great once. After years of humiliating his perfectly respectable father, Flint suddenly becomes the most popular guy in town when he accidentally launches Botched Invention #985 into the sky. The clouds begin raining down cheeseburgers, eggs, bacon, and anything else the town asks for. “More food! More shrimp!”

Everyone is happy except for Hader’s dad (James Caan), who is waiting for the whole thing to fall apart, and Baby Brent (Andy Samberg), the town’s former child star and sole celebrity. The mayor (Bruce Campbell) is especially optimistic. Sensing tourist potential, the mayor invites the world to come vacation on their miraculous island. But his increasingly demanding orders overload Flint’s food machine in the sky, and it becomes sentient. (Don’t ask questions! It just does, okay!) The clouds quickly turn dark and multiply all over the world, serving up all manner of giant foodstuffs to everyone.

Up until this part in the movie, I was having a fine time. Even Mr. T was making me laugh (There’s a sentence I never thought I’d write)! But when the Speghetti tornado touched down, it began to lose me. Ten minutes later, as I flew with Flint to the center of the food hurricane, it was past gross. When grown-up Baby Brent became a chicken and took off his diaper, I started feeling sick. Finally, when food storm appeared to be farting donuts, I had to put my head between my knees, balling uncontrollably like the Fat Boys customer. Only, I didn’t want any more.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs accomplishes everything it wants to accomplish. The fast-moving plot is entertaining, the dialogue is funny, and the Monkey Footage is outstanding. (The scene where the Flint’s monkey assistant pulls the heart out of the giant gummy bear ala “Temple of Doom” was movie gold!) But as a whole, it was all a bit too engrossing, if you catch me. For an eleven year old boy, or an eight year old girl like my daughter, oceanic tides of Aunt Jamima running off of a five hundred ton pancake is funny. For me, it was simply too much. It’s been two days and I’m still locked in my bedroom, refusing to eat even saltine crackers.

The Kids

I can personally guarantee your kids will love this movie. It is quite entertaining, even if a little creepy for the 5 and under / 25 and older crowds.

The Verdict:Mostly Harmless

Undoubtedly, many readers will demand this be put in the Queue It category, but I refuse. Yes, I know it’s a funny and well done film. And yes, I know it was supposed to be gross. Kids love gross. But we’re adults. I get enough gross cleaning up my son’s exploding diapers inside his footy pajamas. I don’t need more.

So chock it up to my “Fat Boys” association if you have to. All I know is this: I used to love food, but now I may never eat again.