An Official HAII Review
The Replacements is a kid fantasy that has massive potential for “genie’s remorse.” It is the story of Todd and Riley Daring, two kids with an unlimited number of very specific wishes. They can call the CEO of the massively powerful Fleemco Corporation, who will “replace” anyone in their lives that they don’t like. How does he do it? Probably by sending his own highly illegal commando teams to kidnap the irritating character in question, and blackmailing someone else into taking the role. I don’t know. But it happens every episode: Todd hates his gym coach, so he calls Fleemco, and they take away the coach and replace him with someone who doesn’t yell. Riley hates her lame donkey pet, so she calls Fleemco, and they replace the pet with a super cool movie star horse.

How did Todd & Riley get so lucky? They once found an ad in a magazine and sent $1.98 to Fleemco. That’s it. This, to me, was far too generous a deal on Fleemco’s part, and they should never have offered it. Still, I confess that since my kids started watching the show, I always check in the back of my issues of Golf Digest and Teen People, just in case…

Anyway, here’s the hitch in the plot: every time Todd & Riley replace someone with someone “better,” the situation turns on its head. The new character is even worse in the opposite extreme. So the two kids switch them back, and order is restored to their world. It happens every episode. So I guess we’re learning about contentment? I think that’s supposed to be the message…

The Replacements is one of those really fast moving shows that is funny sometimes but loud all the time. The secret agent mom is harmless, but the dad, “Dick Daring,” is especially headachy. He is an Evil Kenevil gone worse character, and he’s the show’s official dork. I won’t dive into my tirade about TV dads always being morons, and how the last good dad on TV was Heathcliff Huxtable, or maybe Hank Hill. Instead, I will just say that Dick Daring is dumber than a bag of Jar Jar Binxes, although only half as annoying.

If I had the Fleemco CEO on speed dial, I would definitely take advantage. The first thing I would do is replace “Dick Daring” on “The Replacements” with Archie Bunker. Because these kids need some discipline. And then I’d replace the whole show with classic Looney Tunes. Because Saturday morning as lost its compas, and only Pepe La Pew can help it find its soul. Then I would replace “How Annoying Is It” with a real website, like Hannah Montana Rocks. And then all would be right with the world.

The Kids

My daughters, 7 and 9, watch it every Saturday morning. But it is a stepping stone kind of show. It is not as funny as “The Emperor’s New School” before it, nor as, uh, relaxing (?) as Babar. They laugh sometimes, but they could certainly live without it if Horseland came on at the same time. Emily, my nine year old told me flatly, “I’d give it a seven.”

The Verdict: Mostly Harmless

The show is not without merit. There are some funny sight gags, and amusing phrasing–just enough to keep it out of Headachy territory, even though the tone of the show is fairly loud. Overall, the show is decent but forgettable, for kids and grown ups. I doubt there are many who despise it, and I would be surprised if there are any Replacements Fan Clubs out there that don’t have Keanu Reeves on the flyers.

An Official HAII Review
My daughters begged me to let them see Tangled in the theater. It was pretty intense. I would stumble out of bed and into the kitchen and find them sitting half awake and haggard, holding a cardboard signs that read: “Will Chore for Ripunzl.”

It didn’t stop there, either. There was pressure from mom, grandma, and the neighbors.

An Official HAII Show Review
The Nation of Iceland is located in the Norwegian Sea (or the North Atlantic). It is a seriously beautiful country! As soon as HAII achieves commercial success I plan on visiting, so please continue to spread the word. Iceland is a country that lacks the social cache’ of Scotland, or Ireland, in America, (as documented in Jay’s piece on The Water Horse), But its diverse landscapes, relaxing hot springs, and surprisingly moderate climate make it a terrific vacation stop… or that’s what the tourist websites say at least. I for one believe them. The fact is, my experience with the country is limited to what I’m reading in my National Geographic Family Reference Atlas of the World, and the episode of Bizarre Foods, where Andrew Zimmern eats the rotten shark.

So being the stalwart advocate for Iceland that I am, one can imagine my devastation upon learning that the popular children’s program “Lazy Town” originated in this otherwise great country! In actuality there is more than enough blame to go around since the cast contains Americans and Brits as well as Icelanders.
Lazy Town is not a new show. It debuted to American children in 2004, and its damage continues to spread in the form of at least one spin off.

The central hero is named Sportacus. He is essentially the personal trainer or PE teacher to Lazy Town with all the annoying quirks and hang-ups of those professions, only supersized, (pardon the pun). Sportacus’s preferred mode of travel is not flying or driving some cool vehicle, but exercising his way to the rescue. Yes it’s really as stupid as it sounds! Sportacus runs around Lazy Town saving children from their good times. He forces them to put down their video games, and junk foods and go outside to exercise. There is an obvious irony here! Should the kids at home take his advice, there would be no target market left to keep the show afloat.

The heroine and supporting character is the pink haired Stephanie played by Julianna Rose Mauriello. Stephanie is the spritely newcomer to Lazy Town who takes it upon herself to bully the other children of the town into getting outside. What troubled me most about this character was not Stephanie herself, but the creepy groupies and cyber-stalkers out there who have evidently tried to turn the character and the actress into some kind of sex symbol. If you don’t believe me Google her name, or better yet, just take my word for it.

The villain of the show is the neighborhood junk food pusher, named Robbie Rotten. In appearance Mr. Rotten is eerily similar to the Burger- King King. The troubling thing about Mr. Rotten however is not so much his product but his methodology. It seems he occupies some kind of underground lair from which he spies on Lazy Town’s juvenile population. Perhaps he really is just handing out candy, but I for one wouldn’t volunteer to assist him in locating any lost pets.

The Kids

Honestly I’m not sure whether the kids will like this show or not. It’s been around for about five or six years now, so evidently someone likes it. Those “puppets” in particular are just way too creepy for me. I don’t think I could ever sleep in a room where this was on the TV.

The biggest question I was left with after researching lazy town was WHY ICELAND!? With all of your natural splendor, great vacation spots, your successful fishing industry and your premium beers, why give the world this? I mean a volcanic eruption we can deal with, at least that wasn’t your fault but this… Lazy Town is mostly unintelligible nonsense. Yet even given this fact it somehow manages to be preachy about exercise and eating habits. I understand that childhood obesity is a big cause celeb right now, but I suggest parents address the issue by turning off lazy town and putting the kids in T-ball.

The Verdict: Headachy

So how would I rank Lazy Town? Well let’s see; just watching what I did for the purpose of this article made me feel… like a serial killer and a victim at the same time. With its weird puppets and bad funny face humor, I’m compelled to put this one right smack in the middle of Cringe Worthy! Sorry Iceland! I still plan to visit one day. Hopefully we’ll be able to look back on this and laugh… or something.